Poof... I make you happy...
I wanted expand on the video I posted this morning. I posted about how I almost feel for the illusion that not sleeping well put me in a bad mood.
If you know me at all you know sleep and I do not get along. The last two nights we haven't even spoken much. I woke up in a fowl mood and my internal voice started in immediately, trying to convince me I was in a bad mood because I did not sleep well.
FALSE
I was tired because I did not sleep well. I do not feel well because I did not sleep. I was in a bad mood because I chose to be. It is a hard fact to accept that whatever "mood" we are in is our fault, period. We determine our reaction to any situation.
We want to believe it is someone/something else's fault. I mean why would we choose to be in a bad mood? Good question and one we might explore another time. But the truth is, it is just not someone else's fault. It sucks that I did not sleep, it makes me feel like crap, its tough to function but it did not put me in a bad mood.
Our mood is a choice. It is how we choose to process, express, react to a situation.
Quick challenge, lets say I had the same night I did last night but woke up to the news I just won the lottery? Bad mood? If the truth is not sleeping put me in a bad mood then the answer should be yes. Lets say for years I only managed to get two hours sleep a night but I got the four or so I did last night? Bad mood?
Heck if nothing else lets look at what I did happen. My internal dialogue told me not sleeping put me a bad mood. Somewhere between side of bed and cup of coffee I got my head out of my butt and I was not in a bad mood anymore. Still felt like crap but bad mood gone. Not sleeping did not put in a bad mood because if it did it would have had to come back and say you know I what, I changed my mind I decided I am not going to put you in a bad mood. Okay my analogy feel apart but I think you get the point.
I hear it said a lot, heck I heard it today that he/she/it put me in a bad mood. Admittedly my internal dialogue was screaming it first thing this morning work. But that person cannot decide your mood. I can prove it, tomorrow you go in and you are in a bad mood. Same person that "put you in a bad mood" today comes in a says, "you are not in a bad mood, I have put in you a good mood". I am willing to bet quite a bit that your mood will not change. So clearly that person does not have the power to put you in a mood. (By the way they also do not have the power to upset you but that is for another blog).
One of the silly arguments my ex (I know, which one? Bite me 🤗) and I use to have is she would say to me. "You made me mad." and I would respond, something to the effect of, "Now I choose to make you happy." My point I was trying so lovingly to make is I did not make her mad, put her in her mood, because if I could choose her emotion I would choose happy. By the way, this SOOOO never worked. Do not try it!
So, sorry but the hard truth is whatever mood you are in is your fault. It is a choice you made. I am NOT saying its as easy as that to change but it starts with owning your story. And by the way, since all this is true, if you are mad at what I just wrote... its not my fault.